Exile

I'm in exile. Exile that is from my 'home' parish church. During this term, when those in the second year of my course are focusing on their placements, we are required to effectively stay away from our usual parish churches to focus on our placements and not be distracted by duties in our home parishes.

Ever since Easter and Easter School I have been at various churches and as a result haven't had to think about where I was going to worship on a Sunday. For three Sunday's I was in my placement parish, two in my In-Laws Parish and one Sunday at Easter School, so last weekend was the first time I had to put some thought into where we, as a family were going to worship. It actually surprised my as to how difficult it was to find a 'suitable' church.

Naturally, my first stop was the internet and a Google search for 'churches in Hampshire'. It returned a number of options but what generally disappointed me was the lack of general information; the Church of England website and their 'find a church' section wasn't up to much - a bit like a National Trust search in that there were very nice symbols to indicate whether the church had stained glass, parking, loos etc etc......but didn't give me an awful lot more. Those with a website link often didn't go through to a website at all......obviously the link needed updating.

Anyway, our aim was to go to the Garrison Church in Aldershot. However, I (or someone...perhaps their website) made a mistake (probably me) and we arrived to find that communion had been at 9am and that there was a veteran's service at 11am. We were stood outside at 9.45am. Bundling everyone back in the car and thinking on my feet (or seat more accurately), I headed for the new-ish estate on the other side of Fleet to worship there at their 10am service. I knew that it wouldn't be communion and that it was at one end of the tradition 'spectrum' to mine, but I wanted to go to church and got to church I would.

I had a bit of a shock on arrival. We were welcomed very warmly. However, in the main body of this wonderfully modern building people were sat around tables. I had a nervous twitch that went back to some worship I had experienced and had found very uncomfortable with last year. However, it wasn't anything untoward, but that the church, having been on the site for four years was re-examining it's mission and strategy and the best way of doing this was on a Sunday morning with the regular congregation. We participated as best we could, but I have to say it worked particularly well with prayers, a talk and songs wrapped around short group discussions. Hats off to them for that. I came away feeling well and truly refreshed from the worship.

We will return to the Church on the Heath. Probably for their communion service. But I would recommend it. It is in a lovely modern light and airy building. The congregation were welcoming and there was a true sense of community with worship involving young and old. Here's their website: http://www.churchontheheath.org.uk/. It is also clear that the church is very involved in the community and it is refreshing to see.

Just as an aside, I was delighted when we sung one of my favourites...that always has an effect on me. Stuart Townend writes some great music and lyrics.....



So, a simple choice this weekend - down in Salisbury with my STETs friends for a residential weekend. No need to choose where to worship on Sunday. Week after at http://www.bigchurchdayout.co.uk/ with the boys...looks as if I'm just postponing choosing another church!

Back to Work

Well, I've been back at work now for just over a week. It was a shock. I deliberately went back on a Friday to ease myself in; apart from anything else, we had had an office move during my absence and as a result I had a new desk. I wanted to unpack in a leisurely fashion and get everything organised and sorted before getting into the week. Going back on a Friday enabled me to do that.

Reflecting back, my prior four weeks have been incredibly rich. A week of Easter School where some incredible friendships emerged and blossomed. It was where, as a year group, I think we discovered who might be within our support group in the year and indeed years to come. For some, this meant some very late nights drinking and putting the world (as well as the church) to rights. Was I one of these.....I wouldn't like to comment on that....!

The following three weeks on placement were rich and varied and I've blogged on those weeks. It all ended with a visit to HMP Belmarsh which rounded off my placement very nicely. It was especially nice as I was let out as well!

All wasn't over, though. I felt it important that I return for a Sunday to say my farewells to the congregation of St Augustine's. I also had the opportunity to preach. Once last chance to sit in the chancel with Fr Clive, MC and be part of the richness of worship at the church. I preached on the uncertainty of our future and how, whilst we try to create certainty we live in an uncertain world and that we need to trust in God more. It was a lovely Mass and chatting after to the congregation, many of whom had offered me their hospitality was a wonderful way to finish and say a temporary farewell.

Work has been difficult. I have gone from living in the vicarage, with a daily routine of prayer and worship (and time allowed in the day for this) to life once again as a commuter; the 12 hour day of almost 3 hours travel, sitting  at a desk staring at a screen, internal and external meetings, strategising, planning etc etc......I love my job, but I did feel a certain sense of bereavement being away from parish life. The time flew by and now actually seems like a long time ago.

This last week there's been a lot happening in the public eye. We've had an election (in case you hadn't noticed) and a government, as I type, hasn't yet been formed. I guess I'm not the only one who just wants the politicians to get on with it and decide who's going to run the country.

Then there is the publishing, by the Church of England, of the draft measure for the admitting of women to the episcopate. I've printed off the 142 page document and intend to read it. It's not going to change my view. I'm fully in favour of the move. However, what I dearly hope and pray for is that both sides of the debate can discuss, debate and pray over the move in a manner that befits us as Christians and that some of the hate and vitriol that we have seen up until now doesn't reappear. I know of some who seem to have a personal mission against ++Rowan and the Church of England as a whole (but are ordained within the CofE). This is a significant move for the church and it is my hope that there can be some very adult discussions about this.

Finally, I would like to share this video with you. It is a short interview with Brother Roger of Taize. In a little time, it speaks to me greatly.



Peter, do you love me? from Taizé on Vimeo.

Prayer

I've been using MSN Messenger to 'chat' with a good friend of mine. We were chatting away the other night, it was getting late and I was feeling tired after a long day in placement. My Placement Supervisor and I had said evening prayer, but I was actually, before turning in,wanting to pray. I wasn't sure about asking or how it would work but I asked...'shall we close the day with prayer'.....would it work via MSN?

We set some very basic groundrules.....that, for example, we wouldn't worry about spelling mistakes or bothering to correct them and just go with the flow. I chose some appropriate background music:



What came was a wonderful flowing of spontaneous prayer. Prayer for the day, our situations, families. I felt that it was a wonderful end to a busy day; also a new way of prayer. Prayer with someone else but on my own, in my own space, sharing that space in prayer. Simple, short, prayer, with music gently playing in the background.

I guess this is what would be called a 'Fresh Expression'? (not a big fan of the term myself - will blog on it one day)..........

It's something that was an important part of the day and I hope to be able to pray like this again. It's to be recommended.

Prison

I spent all day Thursday in prison. HMP Belmarsh to be precise. I've never been in a prison before and at 8.10am wasn't sure that I would be spending the day there. My Placement Supervisor had got in touch with the Chaplain and, as instructed, I turned up at 8am with Passport, Driving Licence and CRB to be told that 'I wasn't on the list'. On arriving, the Chaplain had forgotten to complete the paperwork. All was well, though, when he re-appeared 15 or so minutes later with the necessary forms. After completing the necessary (finger print scans, photos) I was going to be allowed in.

First impressions were that it was very quite once inside. We walked through the yard where prisoners first arrive allow a walkway and into the Chaplaincy building. This all appeared very civilised. The Chaplaincy is made up of a few faiths - Muslim, Hindu and then a number of Christian denominations.

I met the team. A missionary who spends much of his time in Africa, and a couple of volunteers who live relatively nearby. The morning was going to be taken up with a bible study for beginners. They expected just over 30 prisoners to attend. The atmosphere was very calm and relaxed as we chatted and laid out the beautiful chapel for the session and to welcome the prisoners.

Prisoners wandered in. Some were dressed in their own clothes, some in the prison's regulation red-ish tracksuits and trainers. A whole mix of people, black and white, young and old. I wasn't told what I should or shouldn't say and as they all walked in, I received a handshake, friendly 'hello' and in some cases a little chat.

When everyone was in, worship began. New people were welcomed and introduced; as was I. For which I received a round of applause! Worship was very evangelical affair, with a number of rousing songs sung, and sung with great feeling and gusto. It was strange in many respects. I didn't at any stage at this point or in the afternoon feel threatened, in fact I felt very comfortable in amongst the prisoners. They all appeared to be very 'regular' people. At the end of worship, there was the opportunity for newcomers to give a commitment to Christ and a number ventured forward. At this point, I did feel uncomfortable. I was taken outside my comfort zone with the praying and summoning of the Holy Spirit to be upon these people. There was the speaking in tongues. As an Anglo-Catholic by tradition, I really didn't know what to think of this; and as I say, it made me feel uncomfortable. I'm not sure what it was, I couldn't pinpoint why I was uncomfortable. I sensed in some respects there was pressure, a pushing sense of something that 'had' to happen. I struggled with this.

After worship we had small group discussions and they were very open and I enjoyed them immensely and was able to provide some input. Just before midday the warders came in and finished the session. I was asked by a prisoner to pray with and for him. I wasn't expecting this, but did what I could and hope that he felt, through my prayers, God's love. All prisoners were searched before they returned to their cells.

The afternoon session was quite different. This was for those who were committed in their faith and had some biblical knowledge and would be a bible introduction looking at the story of David and Bathsheba. First, again, we had worship led by a couple of the prisoners. A prayer, a psalm and then into song.....I have to say I was very moved by this. The freedom of expression in their worship and prayer. Unaccompanied singing....lots of songs....but not watching the time. Again, I felt very comfortable in their presence. There was the sharing of a testimony. It was a good bible study with contributions from a good number (about 20 in total attended). One recited a passage from Romans - not just a short passage, but almost a chapter, with great feeling.

We were hurried to finish and this time I was asked to finish the session with prayer. I had to be quick and thinking on my feet prayed; it was a moment that, because I was asked with no warning hadn't time to think about it, but felt humbled that I had been asked.

I had spoken, during the two sessions with one young man, the individual who had recited the verse. I was struck by his faith, but also his peace; peace with the fact that he was in prison, that he had been there for 18months and was waiting to be sentenced; a sentence that was likely to be a long one.....but he acknowledged that he had to take what the court gave him, but he was at peace that he would have company if the form of his faith. I actually felt it quite a privilege to meet and talk with him.

The eye opener of the day was a wander onto one of the wings. The wing where prisoners were 'welcomed' to the prison. The cells, that housed up to three, were tiny. Smoking was allowed in the cells so with many there was a fog of cigarette smoke. The chaplain had a number of visits to make to prisoners who had asked to see her or there was concern about. The sights and sounds were something that I would struggle to describe; and I did feel vulnerable surrounded by these people. This provided more of the image of prison and prisoners that I had expected.

On reflecting on the day, it was one that I had no preconceived ideas about. I didn't know what to expect. Talking to the volunteers, they get used to waiting. Waiting at the gate for someone to come and get them to go to the chaplaincy. I don't 'do' waiting! So it was uncomfortable for me! Inside, but in the yards and in the chaplaincy, it felt quiet and peaceful. It was only on the wing were there was considerable noise. One of the strangest things for me was the lack of communication with the outside world. Mobile phones are not allowed inside the prison. So mine was left in the car. I had absolutely no contact with the outside. This slightly unnerved me and I felt as if I was missing something! Popping out at lunchtime, for 15 minutes I was able to catch up with friends/family. But time was limited. A quick text and that was it.

Here is a place where God is truly at work. The people I met were inside serving their time. I didn't feel at all like judging them. I felt welcomed by all and very warmly so. I enjoyed meeting them and in a couple instances truly humbled.

I am so glad I was able to see the inside of a prison. I thank my placement supervisor for arranging it and the Chaplaincy Team for a very warm welcome and putting up with me for the day.

Placement: Final Week

Here I am, starting my final week on placement, the practical part. Once finished here I will have to start about to think about putting my thoughts in some sort of order for the written piece of work that I have to produce.

It's a very busy week, although I have some 'down' time today. It's nice to be back and continuing the routine of morning and evening prayer. The church was quiet again this morning with Fr Clive and I saying prayer together. We lit candles and prayed for those near and dear and in particular, Lawrence, who is at his BAP this week. May this part of his discernment lead him and those advising to a 'right' decision over his ministry. May God be with him over the next couple of days.

Yesterday was a great day. There were 15 Confirmation candidates with an additional number of baptisms for those either getting confirmed or their sibblings. The Bishop of Fulham, +John was presiding and it was interesting being his chaplain during the service and seeing the confirmation from a different angle! He was very good pastorally, seeking people out to talk to before the service, to reassure the candidates and then again after the service. He preached very well and it was a joy to watch so many being baptised and confirmed; of all ages.

Again, in the church hall, I had the chance to speak to a few people; those who were only here in support of a family member being confirmed, but also some of the regulars and in particular a couple who had only been to St Augustine's the week previously but were looking for a regular church to attend. Hopefully, they'll become regular members of St Augustine's.

As we headed back to the Vicarage after tidying up and putting various things away (I've learnt that the role of the Vicar covers many many tasks, including sweeping of floors and stacking of chairs), we relaxed and barbequeued, the food helped down with some very pleasant Bombadier. It was a mentally draining day, having to concentrate; not as much for me, though as for Fr Clive who had been planning the service for sometime and had the candidates to look after and watch over.

This week brings some pastoral visits, a tour of the local funeral director's behind the scenes workings, school masses, visit from the youth worker, lunch/dinner with parishioners and finally a visit to prison. I will continue to blog on my week.

Reflections on a week of placement

It's been a week of placement now and important to reflect back on it.

Belvedere is a foreign place to me. It's a strange context, one that I'm not familiar with. Out of my comfort zone. Part of the reason I chose it for my placement. A parish of about 6,000 which 'stretches' about a mile and a half of South-Thames urban sprawl. It's an interesting mix of run-down looking council flats to 20th Century semi-detached housing as well as having a good amount of green, open space.. The census of 2001 doesn't really reflect accurately the population today as there has been a significant immigrant population taking residence since. But it is a multi-ethnic parish. A richness of diversity. 

Looking back on my week, there has been a wide variety of experiences, from the Churches Together meeting, Wednesday experience of a home visit that shocked me (prior blog), a tour of the crematorium, a funeral visit, number of masses and morning and evening prayer.

I have enjoyed immensely the formality of morning and evening prayer in the church. Being next-door to the Vicarage has meant we have popped into the church and said prayer in the Lady Chapel, just the two of us and that has been powerful and important to me - very different from my private devotions that are said at home or work.......also a different format, taking the Catholic rite of prayer. I haven't quite got the hang of where what comes where, but I am sure by the end of next week I'll get the hang of it! 

Yesterday's Sunday Mass was a highlight. I acted as Master of Ceremonies and sat beside Fr. Clive. It's a very different view of the church from behind the altar! It took me back to my days growing up in my parent's parish in Essex. A wonderful cloud of incense filled the church and the ceremony really did move me. I can't comment on my preaching, but this again was a new experience. Not the 15 minutes I am used to, but 6. Adapting for this was difficult and I had a moment of having a re-think on Saturday afternoon. not a good time to think about re-thinking a sermon. I preached on Jesus' commission to Peter and his question of Peter loving him. A very moving passage......one that I could picture happening quite clearly in my mind. People commented very positively after, so I was pleased with that. 

What I reflected on most and talked over with Fr Clive was how I felt the first time I attended Sunday Mass at St Augustine’s. I came here with the family and found the service and connecting with God difficult due to the nature of the liturgy – it went from one thing to another with nothing announced and as a result found it difficult to see how anyone new to the church would be able to connect as well. However, this last Sunday was different. I could see people connecting and entering into the mass with all their heart and soul and the importance of it to them. It was also the first time I had worn my new alb (photos next week)and felt strangely comfortable in it. The first time I had a sense of getting closer to ordination and being ready for it. The waiting is coming to an end.

The congregation is a mix of people from the area - a rich diversity represented. About 130 for mass, so a full church. I know that in speaking with Fr Clive and a few long standing members of his congregation the congregation has grown significantly from when he first came and there is clearly love for both the church and Fr Clive. There is a broad mix of black and white, young and old.....and it is encouraging. The church is certainly not dead in this neck of the woods! Although it has it's challenges, the main one being one of the mix of cultures and how the church 'is' in serving and providing service for the diversity of its congregation. This was discussed at the APCM that followed Mass.

After the APCM there was a bring and share lunch and a chance for me to get to know some of the parishioners better. They were wonderfully welcoming and I enjoyed chatting to a number of people. One conversation struck me of a young family who had been attending for only a couple of years. What was interesting was the articulation of their faith and what it was they liked about St Augustine's; their connection with God there and that in talking about his faith, people assumed he was evangelical.......but St Augustine's couldn't be more Catholic, really! In talking with the people from the church I was humbled as to what had been done here. As well as sampling an interesting mix of food.....including being told, quite firmly that I was to sample a Caribbean speciality of banana fritters........something I had never had before, along with some very spicy rice! I look forward to the goat curry this week (although I suspect the goat won't be as enthusiastic!). 

There was a true community spirit at the lunch and I look forward to continuing to get to know people within the parish over the next couple of weeks.

The rest of Sunday was spent relaxing and reflecting. So....onto another week.

Placement: Day Two

Due to my IT incompetence, this wasn't actually posted.....better late than never!


Wow! What a day. I can’t give huge detail about this morning, but it was an eye opening experience. I accompanied the Parish’s Pastoral Assistant on their sick communion round. Our first visit was the eye-opener.

I was told in advance that it might be best not to accept an offer of a drink and that there would be a nasty odour......what that was, I wasn’t prepared for. The door was opened in a fog of cigarette smoke and odour, but I was actually probably quite relieved as I could live with that as it probably disguised a number of other nasty smells. The only way I could describe the dwelling was something out of the reality programmes where one sees the local council go into a home that has been left to decay and people have lived in squalor. I’ve never seen anything like it. That and the three dogs, clearly well looked after, but allowed to use the floor as their toilet.

The invalid to whom we had come to administer to was chatty, but softly spoken and it was an effort to hear and understand. A space was made on the only available clear surface, his wheelchair and the pastoral assistant careful laid out a cloth, candle and the Blessed Sacrament. She passed him the service book and he found from his pouch his rustic cross which he clasped. It had clearly seen some use over the years. He then went into his own meditative space as the prayers began. I observed and prayed with them whilst fending off his very friendly dogs; with one, at one stage relieving itself in the hall.

Communion received, the small make-shift altar was packed away and sweeties doled out to the dogs. We departed, but not before one of them again left a ‘gift’.

I had not seen anything before like it and it shocked me. Here I was face to face with squalor and poverty. Posters of semi-clad young men adorned the bedroom walls. It was a sad state of affairs, but one that I was assured they had lived in for sometime, this couple (gay), who had been together for many years.

Beneath all of this, though, and away from the odour, Christ shone through in the bedridden man. He was a devoted servant of the church and through his sickness he was unable to continue this. He did, apparently get out, but I’m not sure how often. It brought it home to me that it would be Christ that would be more concerned in places like this than the predominantly white, middle class suburbs of my home-town. He was needed much more in this situation. The two elderly gents were welcoming, accepting, friendly and had a smile. If I was in that situation, would I be the same? I can’t say that I would be. There was real emotion in receiving the sacrament, it clearly meant much to him, this visit. I don’t have to do this every week. The church here does and I have immense respect for that faithfully witness to Christ in this community. I struggle with that ministry and I pray that I have the strength for it.

This afternoon we visited the local crematorium and had a ‘back stage’ tour. Absolutely fascinating how things happen behind the closing of the curtain. Saw how everything went on, as well as the humour the team have.

The day ended with my Placement Supervisor and me saying evening prayer together in the quiet of the Lady Chapel in church. A great way to end the working day. 

Placement

Tomorrow I go off to my placement. It's a three week stint living and observing the work of the Anglican Church in Belvedere, North Kent. I am excited about it, but at the same time nervous - at the end of my time there I must look inward and reflect on things theological, anthropological and sociological and come up with some words on a page that reflected my time in Belvedere.

I will be in the safe hands of Fr Clive Jones, incumbent of St Augustine of Canterbury Church (link here; augustineofcanterbury.co.uk/). It's a very different parish to my own, that being St Mary, Eversley (link here; www.stmaryseversley.org.uk), my home church being rural with a congregation and worship that befits it. St Augustine's is Anglo-Catholic, a tradition that I grew up in, but in a very different sociological area, with a church school and, I understand, much poverty. It will, I am sure, be an illuminating experience. I ask that for those reading this, they offer me up in their prayers during this time.

Now for some packing. Mustn't forget my Missal.