Br Roger of Taize

Five years ago today, Br. Roger of Taize was brutally murdered in the Church of the Reconciliation in Taize. I remember exactly where I was at the time; on holiday in Studland when I received an email first thing in the morning the day after and then there being a picture on the front page of The Times newspaper. I felt numb, totally numb. Taize was and still is a major part of my faith journey and life and during the 18months I was there 20 or so years ago I had a lot of contact with Br Roger. Why on earth was this holy man struck down and killed and in such a violent manner? Brother Roger was the holiest man I have met in my time on this earth. A man of reconciliation.

In the next few hours I tried to process everything, but the one thing that was important to me was to try to get to the funeral. It was the following week. I looked at my calender - I was back at work, but for some reason the day of the funeral I had nothing on, nothing at all. I booked the day off. I then booked the necessary Eurotunnel tickets - I was going to go there and back in a day. 1200 or so miles. I did it. I was at the funeral. The community had kindly made some provision for the old 'permanants'; volunteers, so I had lunch and then into the church for the service. It was a service of love, of course of great emotion, but there was no hatred, no hate for the murderer. Just prayers for her.

Taize, over the years, has shaped my life significantly. I went there as an 18 year old and returned at 20 having learnt a huge amount about me, about God and my faith. From there, it was all about exploring where God was taking me in this life. At one stage I considered the monastic life and another 'hicup' on my road to discerning my vocation, but now, the third time and with much help from Br Thomas of Taize, I am on the road to ordination and the part Taize and Brother Roger has played in that I cannot underestimate.

I spent 18months living on the hillside in the middle of Burgundy. The tiny village that Brother Roger found in 1940, where he was asked to stay and make his home because the villagers were so alone. Joined by friends who formed the community, they set about on their journey of reconciliation. A journey of absolute faith where people were not asked what denomination they were but a true celebration of what each denomination had to offer in worship and life, from the orthodox, to the catholic to the protestant. Since the 1950's the community welcomed more and more people, mainly young; all this without any publicity or desire to attract people. And today, the community welcomes, in some weeks, more than 4,000 people - still mainly the young, who pass by and are able, freely, to question. Question their faith, question who they are and their role in this life.

It is a place that I find solace. Where I am able to question. To ask God where he is leading me.....and to often begin to find answers.

I return on November 11th for a few days silent retreat. To continue to ask those questions.


To finish, a quote...

'You are searching for God: are you aware that what matters is the welcome you extend to Christ, the Risen Lord? By his presence, always offered to each person, by his forgiveness, he brings you to life. By placing you confidence in him and by forgiving, you will break out of your inner prisons to dare to commit yourself as a pilgrim of reconciliation, even in the divisions of the Christian family and even in those which tear apart the human family.' Br Roger of Taize

www.taize.fr/en

Back to Work

Well, I've been back at work now for just over a week. It was a shock. I deliberately went back on a Friday to ease myself in; apart from anything else, we had had an office move during my absence and as a result I had a new desk. I wanted to unpack in a leisurely fashion and get everything organised and sorted before getting into the week. Going back on a Friday enabled me to do that.

Reflecting back, my prior four weeks have been incredibly rich. A week of Easter School where some incredible friendships emerged and blossomed. It was where, as a year group, I think we discovered who might be within our support group in the year and indeed years to come. For some, this meant some very late nights drinking and putting the world (as well as the church) to rights. Was I one of these.....I wouldn't like to comment on that....!

The following three weeks on placement were rich and varied and I've blogged on those weeks. It all ended with a visit to HMP Belmarsh which rounded off my placement very nicely. It was especially nice as I was let out as well!

All wasn't over, though. I felt it important that I return for a Sunday to say my farewells to the congregation of St Augustine's. I also had the opportunity to preach. Once last chance to sit in the chancel with Fr Clive, MC and be part of the richness of worship at the church. I preached on the uncertainty of our future and how, whilst we try to create certainty we live in an uncertain world and that we need to trust in God more. It was a lovely Mass and chatting after to the congregation, many of whom had offered me their hospitality was a wonderful way to finish and say a temporary farewell.

Work has been difficult. I have gone from living in the vicarage, with a daily routine of prayer and worship (and time allowed in the day for this) to life once again as a commuter; the 12 hour day of almost 3 hours travel, sitting  at a desk staring at a screen, internal and external meetings, strategising, planning etc etc......I love my job, but I did feel a certain sense of bereavement being away from parish life. The time flew by and now actually seems like a long time ago.

This last week there's been a lot happening in the public eye. We've had an election (in case you hadn't noticed) and a government, as I type, hasn't yet been formed. I guess I'm not the only one who just wants the politicians to get on with it and decide who's going to run the country.

Then there is the publishing, by the Church of England, of the draft measure for the admitting of women to the episcopate. I've printed off the 142 page document and intend to read it. It's not going to change my view. I'm fully in favour of the move. However, what I dearly hope and pray for is that both sides of the debate can discuss, debate and pray over the move in a manner that befits us as Christians and that some of the hate and vitriol that we have seen up until now doesn't reappear. I know of some who seem to have a personal mission against ++Rowan and the Church of England as a whole (but are ordained within the CofE). This is a significant move for the church and it is my hope that there can be some very adult discussions about this.

Finally, I would like to share this video with you. It is a short interview with Brother Roger of Taize. In a little time, it speaks to me greatly.



Peter, do you love me? from Taizé on Vimeo.

Placement: Week Two

It was a very different week last week. Not as much 'impact' as I settled into parish life and the routine in Belvedere. Sunday was a great day mixing and socialising with the parish, as well as sampling some of the various dishes provided by people from different nationalities for the 'bring and share' lunch.

Monday's funeral visit was very different from the one a week before. Little had been prepared by the deceased family so the conversation was a test of Fr Clive's abilities to tease out snippets of information from the family. He did this particularly well and with sympathy. I'll be attending the funeral service at the crematorium this coming week. With the different dynamics of these visits, Fr Clive is particularly sensitive to each 'occasion' and seems very natural at his pastoral care. I guess that comes with years of practice, but he does seemed skilled at it. I have much to learn.

The visit to the local Church Secondary School was a particular highlight of the week. Taken on by the church after two schools were failing miserably and put into special measures, there was a merger and today, a number of years later there is a thriving, friendly school that produces good results and children. I think it was the first time I'd been in a secondary school since leaving mine (which at the time I was pleased to see the back of). Here was a school with its own chaplain, chapel and Christianity at the heart of the daily life. Why do we, as a society, seem to run away from 'public' Christianity and faith rather than embracing it? I don't have any answers here and now but the church must be doing something right when they can rescue a school from a dire state and develop it into one that people fight to get into. As many will know, I'm not a natural academic, but the gut feel I got from the school was one that was very proud of itself and achievements and that so much was driven by it being a church school. Good luck to them.

The biggest challenge of the week was the youth group. A new initiative. We had prepared for a game that looked very interesting and would help the children understand the importance of fair trade and ethical trade. However, we didn't have enough people - just 6 teenage lads who were full of energy and being typical teenagers! We took them for a runaround outside, but even so there didn't seem to be a diminishing of energy and I felt particularly sorry for Fr Clive as he tried to have a sensible conversation with them in church about the future of the youth group. Whether the group has a future, only time will tell.

Finally, this morning I learnt of the death of a friend of mine who was in Taize at the same time as me, many years ago - late 1980's. Mariusz, a Polish Permanant. I can't say that I've had any/much contact with Mariusz since we last saw each other in Taize, but I remember with great fondness of our time together, his wonderful humour, warm smile and warmth of friendship. Those were tough times for those from Eastern Europe, but there was a great communion of spirit and friendship. They had little material to to share, but this was not important in the sharing of themselves.

Whilst I can't, in 2010, claim to have known Mariusz. I have my memories and the commonality of our time together and therein lies my mourning for his passing. If, in the last 20 years, he was anything like he was in the time I knew him, he would have brought a great deal of joy, love, humour and friendship to those he knew.

I've posted this link on Facebook, but someone with a much better way with words and someone who knew Mariusz better than me has written the following........

http://www.worldaffairsjournal.org/new/blogs/muravchik/RIP_Mariusz_Handzlik?sms_ss=facebook

Back now.......

It's been a while since I've posted. More down to time and being bothered really. I made a resolution to try to post at least once a month and it seems it didn't take long for me to fail. There's a lot to catch up on!

Casting my mind back, in the dim and distant past I had a long holiday! I've only been back two weeks but it seems like a lifetime away. A fantastic time was had by all in our secluded rented house in the South of France. We chilled by the pool, saw some local sights, bought quite a bit of local wine, canoed on the Ceze river, swam in the river, ate in some nice local restaurants....that gives a bit of a flavour. I also decided to go to Mass in the local town one Sunday. That was a good experience as it was different to what I was used to. It seemed very rushed. With a sermon it didn't last longer than 45 minutes! There weren't any hymns and a few bits were sung, and with every Mass I've been to abroad, people seemed to wander in and out as they pleased. Some even just turned up to receive communion and then left! The good thing for me was that I found the time to take myself off to church.

We popped into Taize on the way home (had a disastrous night under canvas - I was freezing and as a result didn't get much sleep and therefore was quite ratty the next day). We went to Saturday evening prayer and on Sunday had a brief meeting with Brothers Parfait and Thomas. It was great to see them, albeit briefly. The format of the Saturday evening prayer had changed a little; I guess this is part of the ongoing review/change process that happens quite a bit in Taize and I sense a move in worship to a more monastic style.....

On our return I pretty much went straight back to my day job and my STETS work started at the same time. This current module 'Contexts for the Church in Mission' is very interesting as it is dealing with such issues as the church in the community/world - globalisation etc. Something that interests me enormously with my sales and marketing hat on; how does the church reconcile itself and move with the times in an ever changing world in terms of communication and technology? It has to, but at the same time maintaining its identity and not forgetting those who don't have and won't have such technology; we must constantly remind ourselves that it is only in the developed countries where such technology such as broadband, mobile phones etc are an affordable day to day item; whereas in some countries these are serious luxury items.

So, how does the church respond? I believe that today's society is looking for something outside of the materialistic, debt ridden, recession sliding country/world that we live in. The problem for the church is that others (and some dangerous others) seem to be getting there first. As a church we need to respond. I am involved in a church in the City of London that is entering a very exciting phase of its history. It dates back to pre-Great Fire but is somewhat tired. It needs a face-lift, re-vamp and re-launch. We are very lucky in we have a priest whose job is to do just that and we have some significant plans. We were talking today of creating a church and community around the church with a buzz - making the place feel alive, loved and lived in once again. Sure, it will take a lot of money to do so, but I also believe in the power of prayer and God will provide so that this church can shine as a beacon out into the city as a place where people can come.

We as a church much also change in respect of drawing people in. We must go out into the community to show non-church goers that we aren't 'strange' of 'odd' and just 'normal' people (well as normal as we can get). We must be part of the community, mingle, liaise, help, and be beacons. That way people will come to church when they know that their friends go there as well. Once we have these people in church we must welcome and make them feel at home, at ease, part of the family and furniture. If we have to explain what happens then let's do that (it might make us think about what we are doing as well). Let's see a revival in our churches. I'm convinced it's possible and pray each day for it.

And to finish off for now. My eldest son has just gone off to 'big' boarding school. He looks so small within such a large place. However, when dropping him off it didn't take long for him to be talking to others in the same boat, sharing with his fellow room-mates, finding out what they had in common etc. It will take him some time to settle in, but I'm sure once he does he will look like part of the furniture. His school has the most wonderful chapel and on first impression a great Chaplain. I look forward to further conversations with him.

Finally, today I was asked to be a Godfather to my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's son, Peter. I am honoured and privileged to be asked. I truly hope that I will live up to expectations and be a good Godfather. I now have two Godsons and a Goddaughter. They are all wonderful and I look forward to them developing into super children and well-rounded, happy adults.

Until next time.

Holiday

I'm on holiday - for three whole weeks. A few days in and the weather has returned to be 'typical' British summer - grey clouds, not particularly warm, you get my drift! However, we have had a few days of good weather and we're off to the South of France on Friday where the weather is good and hopefully will continue to be so.

There's little in the news recently, but a couple of things have caught my eye. The first is politics and the continuing wonderment at which I see the current government mis-manage this country. I fully acknowledge that I don't have the intellect of many of those in government, they seem, most of the time, to have the intelligence of donkeys in the way they treat us, the British electorate. The latest act to have my attention is that apparently Lord Mandelson is running the country whilst Gordon Brown is on holiday - although Mandelson is on holiday himself, courtesy, it appears, of another rich benefactor. Whilst I don't disagree with free holidays courtesy of 'friend's, I do think that if you are in the public eye (and especially in Government with the expenses scandal fresh in the mind) one has to be a little careful as to what is paid for, free etc etc. The worst thing of all is that this man has not been elected by anyone other than Gordon Brown and at best the Labour Party. So, we have someone running the country who is not elected, who has been booted out of the government in previous years for 'indiscretions', in charge. We are truly on a slippery slope with this government into an abyss. Heaven help us.......although I should add that I'm not sure who, at the present time, is capable of running the country.......but possibly the Tories would give it a damn good go.

A couple of other minor things' childcare for MPs paid for us, the taxpayer. My word, even more 'stuff' paid for by US for the government, as if they don't have enough. When will they get in the real world and do like the rest of us who work our backsides off to provide for our families. I can't expense things for the contents of my home, childcare etc etc; nor can the majority of the hardworking British public - why should they?

Sport. My beloved Harlequins is in a mess. I am trying to push this to the back of my mind but a reputation built up over the past 140 or so years is potentially in tatters because of the actions in a game that they were desperately trying to win - what price to win a game? What does this teach our youngsters? That winning is everything at all costs, whether done fairly or otherwise? I love rugby because of the gentlemanly way in which it is played, the fact that the players still address the referee as 'sir' etc etc. I am competitive and try to teach my children that winning is important - after all, you don't get ahead in working life by coming second ever. However, I certainly do not condone cheating and this little episode has come back to bite Quins in the backside. I truly hope that it gets sorted soon and Quins are left with a little bit of dignity.

Finally, my Brother-in-Law and Sister-in-Law have just become proud parents again. A lovely little boy called Peter. I pray that he may have a joyous, safe, healthy and good life; he is truly loved and will be wonderfully cared for. We all rejoiced in his birth.

And as a pps, in a few weeks I visit Taize for 24 hours. I am looking forward to taking from the little springtime and that I will be spiritually 'topped up' until I can get back there again.