I've not blogged for a long time and realised that there are thousands of blogs kicking around post-synod, but thought I'd throw this one in for good measure. I'm afraid this isn't some deep and meaningful theological or academic reflection, it's just a splurge of thoughts........hope that's ok with you all.
It's almost been a week and there's been so much kicking around in my head. I've shared my angst, anger, tears, hopes etc with a few close friends but have also felt the need to retreat into myself to try to work things through too.
Last Tuesday has been well documented. The vote for the measure that would have led, if passed, to the consecration of women to the episcopacy. In other words 'allowing' women to be bishops. And whilst the church shouts and gets red in the face about the fact that it has agreed that women 'can' be bishops, to most people, they don't 'get' that (quite rightly in many respects) and so as far as they are concerned last week's vote was about whether women could or couldn't be bishops.
To state my stance from the start, I think women should be bishops and without any sort of condition or provision; there shouldn't be anything in place to make anyone in ministry feel second class, not quite there, not valid etc. To be honest, I do struggle to be 'generous' to those who are not in favour in terms of provision made for them.
I travelled to London on Tuesday my own to show my support and solidarity with my female colleagues and for all those who support the measure as well as being able to see, hopefully, first hand, the synod in action and to hear what people had to say in debating the measure. I was surprised how emotional I found the day as well as struggling with it too. I had to leave the afternoon session early and as a result followed the rest of the debate via social media, just hoping and praying that the vote would go the 'right' way.
It didn't
And so, as I walked home, I sobbed. It hurt. The church I wanted to be proud of had let me down. Let colleagues down. Let those we minister to down. And I struggle to understand how and why.
As a man, I felt stuck in a bit of a no-man's land (possibly not the best phrase to use!). I'm in favour - very strongly in favour - passionately so - and hurt enormously that men can be bishops but the talented, amazing and saintly women whom I work beside cannot at the moment. That really hurts. And last week really hurt - it still does.
I know that I can't ever even start to understand how it feels to be an ordained woman and the pain of last week's vote or understand the pain over the years of ministering in a church where there are people who don't value or consider valid one's ministry. I will never know what that feels like, and that also feels very painful.
Toward the end of last week an email was sent to women clergy within the diocese from one of our DDOs who was having an 'open house' on Friday for anyone who cared to pop in. I thought twice about going as I wasn't sure how 'welcome' a man would be; but decided to go as I had felt very isolated and was hoping that I could express how I felt and hear how other felt. I'm very glad I did. Whilst I was, for the time I was there, the only man, I was made very welcome, was able to listen and be listened to and to share in tears, anger, conversation and affirmation and it helped. It didn't take any of the pain or anger away, but I am so very glad I could go.
And then yesterday the whole thing came back again as the results of the individual votes were published. There was the expected House of Bishops and Clergy division of votes - no surprises there, but the real hit between the eyes was the House of Laity vote from the diocese representatives. Six voted against the measure and one for. What a kick in the teeth that was. This diocese. I know it's not as simple as saying 'our votes made all the difference', but that what it feels like. It really does. And it makes me feel sick.
I don't know what the solution is, but I want some answers.
I want to know when; when my sisters in Christ will be treated equally, when we as a church will have ministry and leadership in total equality; when those who have an episcopal vocation are able to realise it and what the church, my diocese is doing about it.
I keep returning time and again to the prayer I referenced at the beginning of Tuesday and which has been on me since from Br Roger of Taize:
'God of all mercy, you bury our past in the heart of Christ and you are going to take care of our future.
Gather everything that happens, trivialities included, without reservation, regret or nostalgia, in inexhaustible wonder. Set out, going forward one step at the time, from doubt toward faith, not worrying about the impossible ahead. Light fire, even with the thorns that tear you.'
And to conclude, some wise words from Brooke Fraser......'flags' (click here)
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
Sunday, 27 May 2012
Blogging Sermons!
I'm now, for the time being anyway, posting my sermons on this blog as audio files. Click on 'sermons' to see what's there!
Friday, 21 January 2011
Obscenities......
There are a couple of things I have to rage about right now. I don't know whether I am right to rage about them, but I want to. And this seems like quite a good place to have a shout. And perhaps open a debate. And for me to learn from others.
So, rage number one. There's been in the news again the issue of Bankers and City bonuses. Now, don't get me wrong, the numbers being kicked around are enormous. Life changing for most of us if we were to receive that sort of money. And life changing if a charity were to receive those sorts of amounts of money.
Now, I also have to come clean. I work in the City of London. And I'm paid a good salary. A very good salary in comparison to many. I also receive a bonus. My bonus is not, however anywhere near the amounts being given to bankers.
I am not condoning the amounts these people are allegedly being paid. No. They are obscene amounts. I understand the 'business need' in paying these. There is of course the usual argument that these are the 'norm' and if bank XYZ doesn't pay them, then the good employees will go to bank ABC for more. And companies will work out ways of paying these obscene amounts.
And as for the banks that were bailed out by the government (aka the UK Taxpayer); well there has to be responsibility and recognition that they would have gone bust had the government not bailed them out and those who would ordinarily received a bonus need to consider that if the bank had gone bust they would, I reckon, have received diddly squat.
But. Here's my rant. Not so long ago there was all the press around Wayne Rooney. There was lots of speculation in the press but the figure being touted around was that he was able to negotiate a new contact worth £200,000 a week. That amounts to just a little over £10million. No doubting that he has skill. But what he does for that money is kick a ball around a bit of grass for 90 minutes. I won't mention the swearing, being a role model for lots of children etc etc...but in the cold light of day that's what he does.
Where is the questioning of what footballers earn? Or anyone for that matter earning that sort of money. It is just not right that we seem to pick on one industry of people that are paid £x amount because we think it's wrong; I am sure that there are plenty of footballers (a team game, of course) who's team is relegated and they either move to another team or don't have their wages reduced. And there are, I am sure, plenty of actors who 'demand' or who are paid millions of pounds per film. Likewise for pop stars.
My second rant, and this will be brief. This week has seen the 'launch' I think of the housing development that is One Hyde Park. One bedroom flats start at £6.5m and rise to over £100m. There is no other way for this development to be described but as obscene. When developers build and sell property at this level there should be an obligation, a law, to force them to invest in housing for the homeless and the poor; to put something back into the community as opposed to just wads of cash into their back pockets.
I don't care about whether Prince Charles doesn't like the architecture. Prince Charles should be speaking out about the obscene nature of the development in sociological terms. I can well imagine that only a stone's throw from the (well guarded) front doors of this development one would be able to find someone homeless. Where's the justice in today's society for this? It is just wrong on so many levels.
I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I like earning what I earn and I like spending. I do try to give back. And that's a work in progress. But I get angry at some of the obscene levels of wealth and the fact that the press 'decide' who is a target for abuse and who isn't.
Personally, I don't think any of these sums of money are right. It is wrong. So so wrong that we have homeless, destitute, poor, people living below the poverty line. We live in a country where there are areas of deprivation and we are paying people sums that could do so much to improve other people's lives. All I hope and pray is that those who receive such sums think about what a difference they can make and do so.
So, rage number one. There's been in the news again the issue of Bankers and City bonuses. Now, don't get me wrong, the numbers being kicked around are enormous. Life changing for most of us if we were to receive that sort of money. And life changing if a charity were to receive those sorts of amounts of money.
Now, I also have to come clean. I work in the City of London. And I'm paid a good salary. A very good salary in comparison to many. I also receive a bonus. My bonus is not, however anywhere near the amounts being given to bankers.
I am not condoning the amounts these people are allegedly being paid. No. They are obscene amounts. I understand the 'business need' in paying these. There is of course the usual argument that these are the 'norm' and if bank XYZ doesn't pay them, then the good employees will go to bank ABC for more. And companies will work out ways of paying these obscene amounts.
And as for the banks that were bailed out by the government (aka the UK Taxpayer); well there has to be responsibility and recognition that they would have gone bust had the government not bailed them out and those who would ordinarily received a bonus need to consider that if the bank had gone bust they would, I reckon, have received diddly squat.
But. Here's my rant. Not so long ago there was all the press around Wayne Rooney. There was lots of speculation in the press but the figure being touted around was that he was able to negotiate a new contact worth £200,000 a week. That amounts to just a little over £10million. No doubting that he has skill. But what he does for that money is kick a ball around a bit of grass for 90 minutes. I won't mention the swearing, being a role model for lots of children etc etc...but in the cold light of day that's what he does.
Where is the questioning of what footballers earn? Or anyone for that matter earning that sort of money. It is just not right that we seem to pick on one industry of people that are paid £x amount because we think it's wrong; I am sure that there are plenty of footballers (a team game, of course) who's team is relegated and they either move to another team or don't have their wages reduced. And there are, I am sure, plenty of actors who 'demand' or who are paid millions of pounds per film. Likewise for pop stars.
My second rant, and this will be brief. This week has seen the 'launch' I think of the housing development that is One Hyde Park. One bedroom flats start at £6.5m and rise to over £100m. There is no other way for this development to be described but as obscene. When developers build and sell property at this level there should be an obligation, a law, to force them to invest in housing for the homeless and the poor; to put something back into the community as opposed to just wads of cash into their back pockets.
I don't care about whether Prince Charles doesn't like the architecture. Prince Charles should be speaking out about the obscene nature of the development in sociological terms. I can well imagine that only a stone's throw from the (well guarded) front doors of this development one would be able to find someone homeless. Where's the justice in today's society for this? It is just wrong on so many levels.
I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I like earning what I earn and I like spending. I do try to give back. And that's a work in progress. But I get angry at some of the obscene levels of wealth and the fact that the press 'decide' who is a target for abuse and who isn't.
Personally, I don't think any of these sums of money are right. It is wrong. So so wrong that we have homeless, destitute, poor, people living below the poverty line. We live in a country where there are areas of deprivation and we are paying people sums that could do so much to improve other people's lives. All I hope and pray is that those who receive such sums think about what a difference they can make and do so.
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